Psych!
by KirolaiSemperFi
Summary: THIS IS NOT A CROSSOVER! What happens when the writer loses his novel? What happens when the Senior Field Agent loses his beloved magazines? What happens when Gibbs finds them trying to kill each other?


**DISCLAIMER: Am I Don Bellisario? Nope. Then do I own NCIS?.... ... ...*sigh* I WISH ^_^**

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no no no no no no no!" McGee flew into the squad room juggling his bag, coat, and coffee in his arms. He rushed to his desk, and slid into the chair. "Come on! Come on!"

Ziva looked up from her computer screen, eyeing her friend curiously.

"Hurry up!" McGee impatiently tapped his computer multiple times as Gibbs would usually do when he was frustrated with it.

"Is ther something wrong, McGee?" Ziva asked.

McGee typed in his computer security password, nodding. "DiNozzo."

Ziva smiled. "Ah, what did he do this time?"

McGee frowned. "I got a text form him the other night saying he was gonna race me here today and go through my stuff."

"For what?" Ziva stood up and walked over. She leaned over McGee's shoulder, peering at the screen.

McGee clicked on a private document and waited for it to load. "He thinks I'm killing off Tommy in my next novel."

Ziva laughed. "Are you?"

"No. I'm not even sure what'll happen next!" McGee's computer beeped and opened the file. "Oh my God! He didn't!" The screen was empty. The story was gone.

Ziva watched McGee, backing away slowly as he stared in shock at his blank screen.

At that moment, the elevator beeped and Tony came running in, fumbling his on-the-go bag and breakfast. "I swear Probie, if you did what I think you did, you're gonna wake up one morning glued to the front of the Sedan." He hustled into his chair, pulled open his desk drawer, and rummaged through his stuff.

McGee was still staring in shock.

Ziva walked over to Tony's desk. "Did he do it?"

"Do what?" Tony continued digging through his drawers.

"Kill off Tommy from his novel?"

Tony stood up, slamming his desk drawers shut. "Where is it, McGee?"

McGee slapped his fist on his own desk, standing up. "I can't believe you, Tony! How could you?"

"Don't change the subject! Where'd you put it, McBurgular?"

"Where'd I put what?"

The two were now standing in each other's face. Leaning on her own desk, Ziva observed curiously, keeping an eye out for Gibbs.

"You know damn well what!"

"No, I don't."

Tony thought McGee was kidding around; playing dumb. "My GSM limited editions! The ones that I brought to work one day, and you said they were dumb and for the immature, and I just laughed! Where are they?"

McGee shook his head, looking at Tony as if he were dillusional. "Don't be stupid, Tony. Where's my saved file that was on my computer last night, but is mysteriously gone today?"

"You mean your stupid novel--Why would I take it?"

"Because you thought I was killing off Tommy!"

Tony laughed. "Ha! Maybe I should've taken it! Might've b=given me some leverage so you'd return my magazines!"

"I did't take your magazines!"

The entire squad room was quiet. Everyone was watching the two agents bicker. Tony and McGee didn't notice.

"Oh really?" Reaching into his pocket, Tony pulled out his cellphone. He opened up a text message and read aloud. "DiNozzo, I gotta say your limited editions are really something! I was gonna turn up my heater tonight, but your magazines make better flames in my new fireplace!"

McGee looked at him curiously. He grabbed his own phone, accessing a text message. "Hey, McKiller. Found your novel and hated the part where Tommy 'doesn't make it out alive'. It's gotta go tomorrow. Beat me there and I'll forget it for now!"

Tony stepped closer. "Well there's your clue, McObvious. I didn't beat you here. So how could I--"

"You probably came here early like you always do!"

"I didn't."

"Stop lying!"

"I'm not!"

Angrily, McGee subconsciously slapped Tony on the back of the head. Everyone gasped. Within seconds, the two Special Agents on Gibbs' team were wrestling on the ground, yelling, screaming, trying to grab a hold of one another. As everyone watched, they couldn't help but wonder where Gibbs was!

*********************************************************************************************************************

"Thank you for your time, Mr. Secretary." Director Vance motioned at the head of MTAC to cut the transmission. He turned to Agent Gibbs who stood beside him. "That went well."

Gibbs shrugged. "Yeah. I still don't understand why I had to be present for a meeting about another team, Leon. Something I should know?"

Vance shook his head. "I brought you here to prove a point, Jethro."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "What? That I can't sit through conferences? Hell, I tought everybody already knew that!"

Leon looked at his secretary who sat in one of the chairs. She gave him a nod and left the room.

Gibbs noticed. "What's going on?"

"Gibbs, I've been doing psychological checks on our people." He waited for Gibbs to nod in understanding. "I've decided to test you team. I had Cynthia take something from DiNozzo and McGee, blaming it on the other to see how they'd handle an ordeal."

"And?"

"They're failing."

"Failing? Look Leon, you might think they're immature, but--" He was cut off as Vance nodded to the head of MTAC and live feed of the squad room was displayed on the big screen. Gibbs watched as Tony pinned McGee down, McGee yelled angrily, Ziva tried to break it up, and the rest of NCIS cheered.

"You must be pissed, Leon."

"Why's that?"

"All of your agents are failing too." Gibbs left MTAC. He rushed to the top of the squad room still watching his two agents. In one swift move, McGee had pushed Tony away, and was ready for another go. In the time before they could continue, Gibbs was downstairs, giving both men a firm slap on their heads.

"Boss!"

"Gibbs!"

"Probie took my--"

"Me? You did it first--"

"ENOUGH!" Gibbs matched their yelling, causing the agents to scatter hurriedly. Ziva stood back, letting Gibbs do his work. "What the hell are you two doing?!"

They both tried to explain their own stories but Gibbs cut them off again. "I don't care!" He leaned in closer, knowing that Vance was still watching the live feed up in MTAC. For a minute, Gibbs spoke low into the ears of his agents. After he finished, he leaned back. "UNDERSTAND?!"

Tony and McGee nodded sheepishly.

"Good!" Gibbs walked away to his desk, shaking his head in disbelief.

Tony looked at McGee. Inhaling deeply, he held out his hand and put on his DiNozzo smile. "I'm sorry, Tim. I do not know what on Earth has happened to your wonderful novel, but I assure you that I will find it, even if you plan on killing a character that you based on me."

Holding out his own hand, McGee nodded. "I'm sorry too, Tony. I will also help you in catching the person who stole your favorite limited edition magazines and used them to heat their home."

Both men nodded, shook hands, and went back to their seats. From his desk, Gibbs smiled to himself. His computer screen beeped with an IM from MTAC.

_LVan: You told them, didn't you?_

_LJGibbs: What makes you think that?_

_LVan: I've never heard DiNozzo or McGee speak in full sentences like they were Amish or preschool teachers._

Gibbs laughed and looked up at the camera.

_LJGib: You're doing this to my whole team, right?_

Pause.

_LVan: Yes._

_LJGib: Better not let Ziva find out you took something from her. _

_LVan: She's passed already._

_LJGib: Oh that's good._

Pause.

_LJGib: So what'd you take from me?_

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little....dilemma...^_^**


End file.
